Healing Hurt with 3 Practices
You may be reading this particular post because you’re hurt and growing weary. Or you know someone who can really use some healing and want to pass on the information. What ever your motivation is as you read, my hope is that you can make some personal connections or commitments to explore further what your hurts are and how to heal them.
What is Healing?
The Oxford dictionary defines healing as, “the process of making or becoming sound or healthy again.” The regime for healing past hurts requires some introspection and willingness to apply new practices/mentality for life. This will never erase the experience from your life story, but it will allow you to be your own hero.
Practice #1: Confess
Now this word “confess” can mean so many different things to people. However I want to look at this word simply and at its heart. The act of confessing is simply acknowledging your emotions, thoughts and behaviors out loud.
This can be to yourself, with another supportive person or in a safe group setting. I would suggest starting off in a private journal
Ask yourself these questions
How do I feel today?
What made me feel upset seeing or hearing that?
When was the last time I felt that?
What did I imagine myself doing at that moment?
Just allow yourself to dialogue with yourself; exploring your inner thoughts/feeling. Overtime you will be able to integrate this into your day through your interactions or private moments.
Practice #2: Breathe
Take notice of how your body is responding to these emotions. Are you tense? Holding your breath? Heart racing? Not sleeping? Blank mind?
It’s important to remember that you are more than just your mind; you are also a body and the way you feel/think impacts it. So making time to address your physical body will assist you in confessing.
Try this simple breathing exercise below.
Breathing Exercise
Inhale for 3 seconds (fill up your stomach, not your chest)
Exhale for 3 seconds (slowly as if you were blowing through an imaginary straw)
Repeat 5 times
Practice #3: Accept
I want you to practice how to accept that you have worth; not based on anything you do. Often for people who have experienced relational trauma and repeatedly; you can take too much responsibility for another person’s feelings, thoughts or actions.
This behavior will send you the message that you deserve the lack of respect.
We must remember that what other people choose to do and feel are their choices; it’s not your identity.
You can practice self-acceptance through a few ways:
Writing “I am” statements (ie I am deserving of respect, I am loved)
Looking up scriptures that focus on your self worth (i.e. Psalm 139:13-14)
Saying no (setting boundaries)
Going to the doctor if your sick
Being honest in a conversation
Any self-care that energizes you
These practices are important because in order for healing to occur, we must first confess that we have been hurt and actually feel it. That is why breathing can become a Godsend. We must wade in the pain and breathe. It allows us to think more clearly and take care of the tension our body is experiencing by relaxing. Finally accepting our own self worth can be the harder of the three practices because you will need to confront the false narratives you’ve held onto. Who you are is not what other people do, feel or think.
It’s time to throw out those lies and accept your own sense of self.
I encourage you to practice these regularly so that you can come to know your own inner roots and to have confidence about your identity.
