The Power of Listening: that's right, you heard me!
Listening is a lost art. Period.
And not just among strangers, but between loved ones.
See the thing is listening is POWERFUL. I'm not just talking about listening while you scroll through your Facebook newsfeed or while putting dishes away. What I'm saying is, face to face, eye contact, entering your story, listening.
It's this type of listening that requires not just your ears, but also your heart.
This listening demands the courage to take a risk, because true listening requires so much more from us than we initially think.
And that is what makes it so powerful. Listening will produce a special atmosphere between communicator and listener. The communicator provides their story, which is necessary. But the listener provides acceptance, comfort, strength, safety, closeness, intimacy, empowerment and love, which are mutually shared. It's all done by the act of listening. That is why listening is the glue of relationships and why listening is essential.
However, what is difficult about listening is that we can royally suck at it (myself included). It's something we have to be intentional about. If not, we only experience-missed opportunities to connect with others and leaving the unheard unsatisfied.
Nowadays, I find this to be very common in our society. So many people crave being heard, because they have little opportunity to be fully known. Which is a result of the missing listener.
Let's change that.
Here are three Qualities of a Good Listener:
1. Be Curious
Depending on your cultural background, curiosity can be seen as a negative thing. Just like the saying goes, "Curiosity killed the cat." However, curiosity is what drives exploration and is a good thing. When listening to another person, take time to be curious about them. This person is a creature to be understood, examined and known. Even if you just met at a coffee shop or have lived with them for years. Invite yourself to hold up a magnifying glass as you gracefully search the inner world of another person.
2. Be Present
What a difficult thing for us all. We are a culture that struggles to do one thing at a time. However, it is possible and is required for good listening. Remember being a child and picking up a mysterious sea shell that held the sound of the sea in its structure. We were so ready, as children, to quiet down, press that shell against our ear and listen to the symphony inside. Same idea with a person. We must quiet ourselves as we permit the person to be pressed against us so that we may listen to the music inside.
3. Be Vulnerable
I know what you must be thinking. What does vulnerability have to do with this? And for the love of things, why this? Well, like all good things, we must be willing to put our heart on the line. When it comes to good listening we need to be shifting and adapting to the waves of emotional needs of the communicator. It is just like a boat that sails the ocean. We can and will be charting various water/weather conditions. A listener will respond and experience this as they journey alongside a person. Resulting in your own heart to start feeling what they feel and truly experience this journey with them. You might possibly change, because of it too. What I'm saying is far from easy, but boy it will be worth it!
